how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
