I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Randomize
