I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
