well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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