Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
