This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
