so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
