This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
