so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
