If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
