If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
