His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
