I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
