I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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