I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
