Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
