You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
