a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
