You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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