at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
