Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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