Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize