If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
