Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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