Christians are straight up FREAKS
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
