I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
