is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
