i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
