If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
