i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
