you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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