You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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