maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
