shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Randomize
