dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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