just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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