yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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