the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Please don't give away my fajitas
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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