Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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