Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
