how can u be prego again
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
