I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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