My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
