Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
