The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
