Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
