I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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