are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
