There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
