We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
