your room smells of hookers.
And success
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
