cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
