just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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